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Friday, August 8, 2014

Pistol Packing Pistorius Pleads Paraplegia

Shameless Oscar Pistorius is groveling for his freedom today, claiming in the wrap-up stage of his murder trial that he shot his actress-girlfriend to death last year because he has no legs.

Since his heartless slaying of Reeva Steenkamp on Valentine's Day 2013, Pistorius has continued to shock and startle the world with public acts of drunkenness and brutality amid a mountain of troubling revelations regarding similar misconduct in the past.

As a result, the young, disabled Olympian -- once celebrated in his homeland of South Africa and admired across the globe for overcoming his legless birth defect -- is all but shunned these days.

And now, whilst still ridiculously insisting he "accidentally" killed the unarmed Steenkamp at his home during a heated argument, the gun-toting Pistorius also wants everyone to believe that the decision to repeatedly discharge his weapon that night was solely influenced by his missing legs.

Of course that totally lame excuse shouldn't surprise anybody either -- gutless Oscar Pistorius has made a spectacle of himself throughout the entire court proceedings. Not only by stupidly refusing to man up about the crime, but by bawling, puking, and even hiding his guilty face in his hands and threatening to faint.

It's poor drama, to be sure, and thus far his feeble acting has utterly failed to suspend disbelief, but nevertheless one still can't help but wonder whether this pathetic parolympian perpetrator may have somehow missed his calling.


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